emptynest

Back to the empty nest

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:29:00 +0000

After having Engineering Guy home all summer and Computer Dude home for a couple of weeks between his school term and work term our nest is empty again. Well except for the three dogs...........I got a crazy idea during the summer that we needed another puppy. That definitely keeps me busy.

Engineering Guy has been in his new (old) house for a week now and it's been rather eventful (and expensive). First of all his new bed that was being delivered wouldn't fit up the stairs. Not only did the box spring not fit but neither did the mattress. In the grand scheme of things it's not a huge deal but it means he has been without a bed for over a week. Oh well - his back is young and that's what air mattresses are for. It's like indoor camping.

The boys learned a couple of adult lessons. First of all - when your internet provider gives you an eight hour window to come to hook up that means someone has to be there for the entire eight hours. Murphy's Law guarantees that if someone slips out for ten minutes that will be when the internet people show up. They can't come again until Saturday. Luckily, the library is two minutes from their house and Engineering Guy has a laptop. Or maybe not so lucky. He phoned home tonight and told Engineering Dad that the laptop has a virus and it will cost $50 to have someone even look at it. I don't see that he has any options. He also has a big beautiful IMac sitting in his room as a paperweight until the internet gets connected.

Their house also got a noise violation ticket. Ooops. That's $235 split six ways. Their neighbourhood is entirely students and I think the police were making a stand early in the year in the hopes of keeping control. Engineering Guy said they didn't realize how loud their music actually was - but they thought they'd at least get a warning first. Now they know better.

I'm hoping his bed gets delivered tomorrow without any glitches and his week gets better from then.

Computer Dude is working at the same company that he worked at for his last work term. He is also taking a French course to knock off an elective. I convinced him (and I think he is beginning to think I know a thing or two) that French would probably be far less work than Physics........ Who the heck takes physics as an elective anyway?

The Nest Is Half Full

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Mon, 04 May 2009 01:51:00 +0000

Time flies. Engineering Guy is home after finishing his first year of school. He is more convinced than ever that engineering is the right program for him. He's signed a lease with five friends for next year. We picked him up a week and a half ago and he is lucky to be one of the few of his friends to have a full time job for the summer. He'll be able to live at home so that's great.

Computer Dude was home for the weekend. He has just finished a four month co-op term and tomorrow he'll head back to school for four months. He loved this co-op job but is also excited to go back to school. This will be his first term at school in the summer (in a house with no A/C) to boot so he'll see how he likes being on a campus that's much quieter than he is used to.

Letting Go

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 23:16:00 +0000

Engineering Guy did a lot of growing up this week and I found out how difficult it is to watch your kids struggle from a distance. A friend of the Guy's started acting ill on Sunday. He was convinced by friends to seek medical attention but was released from hospital. His friend's were told to "make sure he eats and drinks properly". Eighteen year old boys only have so much control over each other. By Monday night the boys had gone through their friend going missing, having to make the decision to alert authorities, having him found and hospitalized. Then they had to make the difficult decision to call his parents (who they had never met) and inform them. It turned out well for everyone as the friend is now on the mend at home. Engineering Guy informed me last night "We decided we're to young to deal with stuff like this". As a parent I'm still shaking because the outcome could have been so very different if these kids hadn't been so persisting in trying to get their friend help, and making the hard decisions to do what is right - not what is easiest. To say I'm proud of him is an understatement. We had already planned to go down and visit him for the weekend. Now I can't wait to just give him a huge hug.

Good-Bye to a fine young man

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 20:54:00 +0000

Today was the funeral for Engineering Guy's friend. DNA results finally came back last week. What they think happened was that he got stuck in the snow after leaving the party, when he couldn't dig himself out he went back in the vehicle and kept it running to stay warm. I suppose he felt he couldn't call for help because he wasn't supposed to be there in the first place. Unfortunately the tailpipe was buried in snow and he died of carbon monoxide poisoning.

The minister used the sermon to charge the young people there with looking out for one another so this type of tragedy doesn't have to happen again. I think the message will stick - at least for awhile. Two hockey teammates (one of whom was a teammate to Engineering Guy) gave very eloquent eulogies as they shared stories of growing up together. I was proud of those two young men as they did something that nobody that age should have to do. Engineering Guy is too far away to attend but I know this has affected him quite deeply.

Jen - we are going to the Galapagos for our trip. It's a place I have always wanted to visit. I figured I better go now before I become too old and doddery!

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 12:37:00 +0000

Engineering Guy will not be homeless next year. This is a relief to all of us (especially him). I thought it was early days but he was getting stressed. This week he and five of his closest friends have signed a lease on a house two minutes from campus. They were getting quite worried because most of the houses they viewed were real dives (and I'm not sure how bad it has to be to be a dive to 18 year old boys). Engineering Guy is particularly excited because they have other friends moving into the street. This apparently means they will be able to go to parties without hosting them. I guess that is a good thing?

Computer Dude is loving his computer job. Particularly he is loving getting a paycheck. Unfortunately he has to deal with the more mundane adult things such as his lost cell phone - buying a new one and getting his account transferred before someone calls China on it.

To celebrate our 20th anniversary (which was 2 years ago) and successfully getting two kids through high school and out of the house Engineering Dad and I have booked a trip. We are going in May..........Someplace I've always wanted to go.

New Purchase

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 22:58:00 +0000

I sent Engineering Dad to the store today to purchase a crockpot made for two. Our family size crockpot is far too large to make meals for two. I now have squash soup simmering away in my two quart crockpot.

We drove down to take Computer Dude out for lunch and took him a bunch of baking. He enjoyed the first week of his co-op job despite the commute of an hour each way. Last term was pretty intense for him so I think he is glad to have a four month break. We'll see how much he enjoys going to school all summer for the first time in his life.

Sadness

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 02:56:00 +0000

Engineering Guy is having a hard time with the death of his friend. DNA test results are not back yet but it seems the only plausible scenario. He hasn't had to endure tragedy in his young life and although he and Wes only saw each other once or twice a year in recent years it still struck close to home. Also Wes' dad was the Guy's hockey coach the year they played together and he was VERY good to my Guy.

Near as they can figure, he left a New Years Eve party, decided to "borrow" the van that belonged at the house and drove off. At some point he pulled off to the side of the road and probably lit a cigarrette and fell asleep. All very out of character for this young man I'm told.

In better news he got his first semester marks back and did very well. He was in the top 3% of his physics class. Sadly, I will have to admit that his physics brain did NOT come from his mother. Ironically he is worried about physics this semester. From what my non-engineering brain can understand it's because last semester they worked with things they could see. This semester it's electricity and other invisible stuff. On general principle Engineering Guy is not in favour of anything that can't be seen.

Double post

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:10:00 +0000

Well I can't figure out how to get rid of it. In my defense Blogger told me that neither post posted.

Heartbreak

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 23:50:00 +0000

http://lfpress.ca/newsstand/News/Local/2009/01/06/7928586-sun.html

Engineering Guy played hockey with Wes one winter. Engineering Guy had to play in a different town. Wes' dad was one of the coaches on the team and his mom was Engineering Guy's most vocal fan section before or since. In later years when they competed against each other Wes would always stay after the game to razz or congratulate Engineering Guy (the guy is a goalie).

I hope and pray there is a way to put two and two together to come up with a more positive outcome.

Heartbreak

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 23:41:00 +0000

It was difficult for me to say good-bye to Engineering Guy, especially since he wasn't feeling well but he will be coming home.

A young man he played hockey with went missing from a New Years Eve party. A male body was found in a burned out van that had also been at the party. This is a small town - there aren't that many missing people or bodies found. You can put two and two together as many ways as you want and it's hard to come up with a good outcome.

One year Engineering Guy was cut from our local competitive hockey team. Another town was desperate for a goalie - Engineering Guy was desperate to play. Wes' dad was one of the coaches on the team. His mom was Engineering Guy's loudest fan section before or since that year. Every year after when they competed against each other Wes would be the one who waited after the game to either razz or congratulate Engineering Guy.

My heart breaks thinking of him and his family. There really are no words.

http://lfpress.ca/newsstand/News/Local/2009/01/06/7928586-sun.html

Empty Nest Once Again

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 14:53:00 +0000

Ahhhh.............. It's the sound of silence. We put Engineering Guy on the train this morning. It was hard. The fact that he was feeling quite sick didn't make it any easier. He might have a touch of flu or it might just be separation anxiety. I know he loves his school, his program, and has missed his friends over the holidays but it's not always easy to say goodbye even when you are excited about going. I hope he feels better by the time he gets back because even at my age being sick without your mommy sucks! He was sick when we were driving him to school in August so I am tempted to think it's nerves.

University has had a big impact on Engineering Guy (even more so than Computer Dude). The school he goes to is well known for it's school spirit and engineers have the reputation of working hard and playing hard. He was never very spirited in high school but he takes great pride in wearing his school jacket that he "earned the right to wear" after his December exams and is hoping to be a frosh leader next August.

Engineering Dad and I are going to see "Marley and Me" this afternoon. Any tears I feel the need to shed missing my baby will surely flow watching the movie. It might be too soon after losing our Retriever but I do think I'll enjoy the movie for the most part.

Happy Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 23:34:00 +0000

Both boys are still home. Computer Dude returns tomorrow but Engineering Guy will be with us until Sunday. It's been wonderful to have them home. They have both grown into great young men.

Engineering Dad spent Christmas Day at work - something to do with exploding electrical bits which even I know is a bad thing. We had our Christmas supper on the 26th. He was bummed but all he really missed was the very LOUD sounds of Guitar Hero and Rock Band. I suck at both. This surprises me as I used to be a band geek.

New Years Eve will consist of a steak supper prepared by Engineering Guy followed by watching the Canada vs. U.S. Junior hockey game.

Blowing off the cobwebs

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 20:20:00 +0000

My empty nest is full for the moment so it's funny that now I have the time to blog. Both boys are done exams. Computer Dude will be starting his work term in January and Engineering Guy will be heading back to school to finish off his first year.

Computer Dude found this term a real struggle but I am proud of the fact that the "Q" word hasn't entered his vocabulary. He'll work for four months, regroup, get a tutor for the course he is struggling with and he'll persevere. He can't imagine studying anything else but computer science so he'll figure things out.

Engineering Guy has found his first term of university to be everything he had hoped and more. He's having a lot of fun, managing his heavy course load, and finding time for hockey and hanging out with friends. It helps that his best friends are fellow engineers who also have a heavy load.

We have our new puppy home now and we are all in love with him. Well it did take Mindy a bit of time to warm up to him but she is a lot less lonely now and she plays -which she has never really done. I can't resist showing off the picture that made our Christmas card this year.

Time Flies

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 11:20:00 +0000

Thanksgiving was wonderful. It was great to have both of the boys home. I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my parents in probably ten years so that was nice too. Engineering Guy's high school commencement was on the Friday night (weird I know).

Yesterday was Engineering Guy's 18th birthday. He was in class from 8:30 - 5:30 and had a midterm at 7:00 so I didn't get to talk to him. I hope to catch him tonight. It's hard to believe that my baby is now 18.

We went to visit our new puppy on the weekend. His name has morphed into Max. He's even cuter now than he was. I can't wait to have him home.

Full Nest - Yay!

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:27:00 +0000

Not only are the students returning to the nest to be fattened up over the long weekend but my parents are paying their once in every ten years visit. Not only that we get to go and see the new puppy on the way to pick them up. Life is good.

Filling the nest

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 22:46:00 +0000

We miss Zeus. Nothing will replace him in our hearts but we decided that for our sanity (and for Mindy's) we (well I) needed another doggie to love on.

Presenting Barney/Rusty/Ringo. He's a week old and just too precious for words. He's a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel like Mindy.

Benefits of an Empty Nest

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 20:20:00 +0000

I think we are starting to get into a bit of a routine. I am noticing some benefits of having just two of us.

1. The house pretty much stays how I left it.

2. If we want grilled cheese sandwiches or soup for supper we can have it without feeling guilty that the athletes in the family aren't getting enough protein.

3. Our lives no longer revolve around hockey. Therefore I have time to do some things that "I" want to do.

Both boys will be back in two weeks for Thanksgiving. Engineering guy has his commencement that weekend. I'm certainly not counting the days though. My parents are also coming for the long weekend. Only their 2nd visit in the ten years that we have lived here.

I'm back

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 11:16:00 +0000

Things have settled down a bit around the empty nest. After dropping both boys off at school Engineering dad and I left on a vacation. We figured we'd earned one after helping two kids navigate successfully through the school system. We had a lovely week sailing. Most nights we had anchorages to ourselves. It was very relaxing.

We came back to real life with a bang. Our 11 year old Golden Retriever had started to fail this past summer. When we picked him up it was clear he hadn't had a good week. As it turned out he was just waiting for us. He spent a few hours at home acting nearly his normal self and then he just lay down and didn't get up again. We called the vet the next morning because it was clear that he was suffering and there was nothing we could do. He was scheduled to come to our house at 11:00 a.m. to euthanize Zeus. At 10:55 a.m. with both Engineering Dad and I by his side he lifted his head, looked at me, put his head in my hand and drew his last breath. We knew this day would come but it didn't make it any less sad. Rest in Peace Zeus.

Hell Week

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:22:00 +0000

This has been the week from hell and it's only mildly related to the fact that our nest is now empty. Computer Dude finally left for good yesterday after multiple trips back and forth with stuff. I have my own vehicle again (yay!). I am hoping to do something about the fact that my own vehicle is a minivan now that I don't have to haul sports gear around - I'm thinking two seater convertible.

I talked to Engineering Guy the other day and he is having the time of his life. He has the official Queen's engineer hairdo (which really involves very little hair and what there is is in mulitcoloured spikes). I hope the frosh leaders remember to tell them to put sunscreen on their heads or he'll really be a redhead by now.

Our 12 year old golden retriever is really starting to fail. It breaks my heart to kennel him for the week we will be away. We took him to the vet today and the vet says he is pretty good. I'm hoping the fact he really hasn't eaten is because he's missing Engineering Guy but I have my doubts.

Work has been particularly hellish. Since it was my last day before holidays of course anything that could go wrong did. Thankfully I do have awesome co-workers. I hope I didn't leave too much of a mess but after twelve hours without a break my blood sugar was in the toilet and I had to leave to take our little dog to the place she stays. Tomorrow at this time I'll be on a boat drinking wine and without cell phone access or internet (which will be tough) so work will have to wait a week.

Moving

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 21:34:00 +0000

The dropoff went well. I know that Engineering Guy was a bit nervous but as soon as he met his new room mate he felt better. The two of them appear to be twins separated at birth personality wise. We spent some time with the boys and met the room mates parents for the "free" parent/student brunch. We ditched the parents presentation since we had gone through it for the engineering college in May (not to mention last summer for Computer Dude). We left the room mates dad helping Engineering Guy set up on the university network. He would have managed himself I'm sure but the other parents weren't quite ready to leave and we had a longer drive.

We drove the five hours home, loaded up the van again this morning and moved Computer Dude into his new house. I forgot how much I dislike assembly of furniture. Blech. Maybe one more trip tomorrow night and he'll be all set. I want to make sure he has enough groceries and such. I' beat now though. I love both of my kids dearly and I'm glad they are following the path they are but moving them both on the same weekend is not recommended. Computer Dude is still here because his bed doesn't get delivered until Wednesday.

Down to the Wire

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 22:26:00 +0000

I'm sitting posting this in a hotel room. Engineering Guy and Engineering Dad are out for one last golf game before we drop Engineering Guy off at his residence tomorrow. When did Universities start accepting babies?

Engineering Guy is excited (a bit nervous too although he won't admit it). We're excited for him and the wonderful opportunity that he has but a little sad that this part of our lives has come to an end.

I spent the afternoon walking around town while the guys were golfing and I have fallen in love with it. I think he has picked his school well. All the schools that he considered are highly regarded for his program but I truly believe that this will be the best fit for him. The city is big enough that he can be somewhat anonymous (unlike our small town which is kind of like living in a fishbowl) but small enough not to be too terribly overwhelming to a small town boy. The campus is considered medium sized by Canadian standards with about 16,000 - 18,000 undergrads.

Empty Nest Party

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 23:42:00 +0000

One of the things that Engineering Dad and I are going to do once both kids are safely ensconced in their respective homes for the school year is go on a holiday. We are taking a sailing trip in the hope of deferring our empty nest for a week. This last week has been so hectic - and next week will be as well with Computer Dude moving houses that we'll need a bit of a break.

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:34:00 +0000

Engineering Guy got his schedule today. Engineering isn't for the faint of heart that's for sure. All of his days run from 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. except for Wednesdays that are 8:30 a.m. - 9:30 p.m. I think he's a tad depressed.

In the car on the way to the ball game

Engineering Guy: Do you know she's trying to get me to pack already (a mere week before he leaves)?

Computer Dude: Yeah - I remember. I just found out that packing early isn't a girl thing - it's a "her" thing.

Me: What makes you say that?

Computer Dude: My roommate just moved out and she says she never packs until the day she is leaving!

I guess I'm busted!

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 00:58:00 +0000

One more week until our nest is officially empty. We picked up Computer Dude and drove to Toronto to see a Blue Jays game as our last family outing for awhile. Engineering Dad as usual was in denial about the time it takes to actually get into the city (he assumes he can drive the speed limit all the way to the stadium). Also the Blue Jays were playing the Red Sox so there were more fans than usual. By the time we found a parking space and got to the stadium 2 1/2 innings had already gone by. It was all good in the end though because it was a scorching hot day and even the baseball fans among us (that would be everyone but me) had enough by the end of the day. Computer Dude rarely sees the light of day on purpose so he wore jeans and was even hotter than the rest of us. The Jays won and a good time was had by all. On Friday Computer Dude comes home for the weekend as he's between houses and babysits the dogs while we drive Engineering Guy the five hours to his college and drop him off.

Shopping

noreply@blogger.com (Empty Nest Mom) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 03:06:00 +0000

Computer Dude moved out of residence in April. He was able to sublet for the summer but is moving into a townhouse with his former roommates in September. The townhouse is unfurnished so Computer Dude needs some things - particularly a bed. We went shopping to Ikea with that in mind yesterday. I think he was a bit overwhelmed by all the selection (he's so not a shopper) but finally picked one he deemed suitable. He was more excited about mattress shopping and had no trouble determining what he liked. The guys are going to try and pick up a sofa but that's all they think they need (oh to be nineteen again). They do have all the kitchen stuff from last year along with three TV's and multiple gaming systems (they are all computer dudes after all).

Move in day for both boys is getting closer.